I'm happy to report that we are back safely from Mexico and were not one of the handful of Canadians who were murdered or attacked there over the last little while. I was actually surprised at the flak I got at work for choosing that location to go on vacation. I've never been one to cower away from something on the "off chance," though I have to say, the latest beating of the 37-year-old Albertan staying at a 5-star resort in Mazatlan did get to me. I hope she's going to be okay.
The few weeks were fantastic and the only thing I missed was blogging and reading blogs. I managed to keep up a bit with your blogs and got at least one post in, but I'm happy that I'll be back to my regular programming. I hope to blog more in 2012 than I have in years before.
I came back to some pretty cool news, and please don't mind me as I gloat a bit. I don't do it often. If you want to skim this part, I do touch on my IUI tomorrow (!) after these next two paragraphs of the post.
My blog was nominated last year for the Ninjimatics' 2011 Canadian Weblog Awards and I found out today that Crazy Lesbian Mom made the shortlist in all three categories that I was entered into: Best Weblog About Family & Parenting, Best Weblog About Health & Wellness, and Best LGBTQ Weblog. The most fabulous part about this whole thing was that the initial nomination was a surprise. I have no idea who nominated me, and considering I don't have a (real life) friend in the world who knows that I write this blog, it was a true reader, which feels pretty cool.
It is an honour to be in each of those categories: I'm extremely stoked about the Health & Wellness, as not a ton of other nominees were mental health related (and even fewer about reproductive mental health), I'm ridiculously honoured to represent the LGTBQ community, and quite honestly, the fact that a blog about a not-yet-but-soon-to-be-mother made the Family & Parenting was a finalist really makes me so proud of this venture. There were 85 blogs in that category, and I think it's incredible that they would consider a blog about family - never mind one with two moms - from someone who doesn't yet have one (in the conventional sense... I always consider Devon my family). I have a lot of respect for that. Winners will be announced in the next week or so. I'm excited to hear the final results and feel very lucky to be in this position.
Okay, done now. Thanks for sticking with.
Now onto regular programming. Before vacation, I was wondering whether I should potentially waste a round of Clomid on a cycle that we may miss due to being away. Devon and I decided that we would not use Clomid this month. I thought that if I was taking it, in some respect, I would be thinking about TTC, and all I wanted to do while I was away was forget about it.
And I did. It hardly passed through my thoughts. Of course, I thought about having a baby, but I have to say how awesome it felt not to shove my fingers up my vajayjay three times a day to check whether my cervical mucous looked like eggwhites. Not having to take my temperature while stiff as a corpse at 4 am was a treat (what? I can lift my head off the pillow as soon as I wake up?). I didn't even take my prenatal vitamins that often (gasp!). I was FREE! I did, however, use OPKs to test for ovulation starting at CD 10.
We got back at midnight last night and we were up at 5:30 this morning. I couldn't test this morning at home, so I packed up my OPKs and tested in a washroom stall at work. Always fun. I don't know why I was surprised to see the annoying happy face, as it smiled right on time, but I was.
Tomorrow will be the first IUI where we have not had an ultrasound beforehand. No Clomid, no cervical fluids, and no temps... we are totally going into this one blind. It is our first IUI with our new donor and perhaps because I am still in vacation mode, I have a very passive attitude about this one, and not in a bad way, I don't think.
If it happens, it happens. My expectations aren't necessarily low, they just aren't high, and I'm okay with that. Yes, it would be fantastic to get pregnant, and I hope I do, but for the first time ever, I don't feel that chest-tightening pressure. Good job, Mexico.
Will this change? Probably. But for now, I'll enjoy it. Maybe I'll even take a prenatal vitamin tonight before bed.
As this post is already long, I will save my mental health status for another day, very soon. Things are different. I feel different. Something is going on. More to come...