Believe it or not, I'm 14DPO, my period was due today and hasn't come, and I haven't yet tested to see if I'm pregnant. And I won't. Not tonight.
Tomorrow is another day, and I'm really really looking forward to testing, but we have consciously tried to keep this nonchalant attitude this month. I haven't been super positive about being pregnant, but I've also not given up hope just because we didn't do it with all the bells and whistles of Clomid and ultrasounds and hCG shots. This was one of the most "natural" rounds we've had. And that's pretty funny to say, considering everything.
We'll be going in for a beta test first thing tomorrow morning and I'll know by the afternoon for sure. We may take a HPT in the morning just so I can actually not spend the day freaking out and waiting. The only "symptoms" I've had are several days of cramping, which could be premenstrual or something else completely. Other than that, nada. But a girl can dream, right?
Work is better, and my mood has improved. My workload has actually almost doubled in the last week, but I'm doing work I love so when it's this kind of busy, I thrive. I could do without the stress of deadlines, but that's all part and parcel. My boss is being a little more human this week, and I've been feeling a lot more confident in my abilities, which is huge. I talked to my shrink last week about my mood and we both agreed that it was more specific to my work situation. I think it was a shitty week rather than red flags, which makes me feel incredibly relieved.
Despite my wanting to continue to drop the doses of my existing medications, my shrink has said that it's time to stop. I have not been on so few medications since before I was diagnosed, but I still want to keep going - for the health of this child. I asked him whether I could take one medication out of the factor completely, but he's hesitant to let me, as he still thinks the low dose is significant to the cocktail. I'm a bit disappointed, but I trust him. I also know that I shouldn't be making any major changes during the pregnancy, but I'm confident that what I've done so far is enough for a healthy pregnancy. I'd like it to be a perfectly unmedicated healthy pregnancy, but this is what I can do. And I always said - what I can do, I will.
Now, bring on the test results!