I took an HPT this morning and it was negative. I'm saving myself a needle prick and skipping the blood work today as I want to see whether AF comes today. If it's still not here by tomorrow afternoon, I'll get a blood test for finality's sake, but we're definitely out this month. I only had about two hours worth of pee in my bladder at 5 am (my bladder is horrible through the night), but I really don't think that would've made that much of a difference.
We'll be making an appointment to see our RE for next steps, as I'm not sure I can continue to do this over and over and over again without a long-term plan. The fact that I'm using the term "long-term" makes it sound kind of depressing. And it is depressing. And exhausting. And draining.
I have a little bit of a dilemma right now, as I'm torn about whether to TTC next month. If we got pregnant next month, it would be a December baby. I taught preschool and kindergarten part-time for about 10 years and the differences between the two-year-olds born near the end of the year and their slightly older counterparts were so palpable. The young kids always struggled so much more than the older ones. Especially the boys. And then there are reports like this one that make you think.
Now there are exceptions for sure. Our niece is eight and she's a December baby and has always been the most advanced kid in the class. And in the end, it all evens out, but year after year - especially from September through to December - I'd see these little guys suffer in school and it didn't seem fair that they were tossed in with a group that obviously weren't their equal.
Maybe it's silly to think like this. And it will break my heart that if we do sit this one out, we will not have our baby in 2012. And wouldn't a Christmas baby be the best present ever? I don't know. Maybe it's not even anything to lose sleep over, because it's so kid-dependent. Hell, our donor could be a dumb-ass for all I know and our January baby could be the thickest in the class... of course those genes wouldn't come from me! ;-)
So, do I fill my prescription for Clomid, or do I sit tight and wait until we meet with the doctor?
Maybe today is not the day to decide.
Thanks, as always, for your support.