Monday, April 9, 2012

A few days of calming down and a follow up

I wanted to write a quick post as a follow up of my last one, which very understandably riled up a few people. I've had a few days to ponder over the appointments I had, and I do feel that I need to (or at least want to) reiterate and/or clarify that I passionately disagree with the views of my non-Western doctors. I by no means want it to come across that I believe that IVF kids aren't healthy and perfect. They are no different from the general population. In fact, as S from An Offering of Love pointed out, they could potentially be healthier because of the pre-conception and prenatal care and because they have parents who want them so much.

I didn't take offense to the comments at all. In fact, if anything, they've made me feel as though I'm not overreacting to the nonsense that I got fed earlier this week. And it is nonsense. And it's been making me mad and madder and madder than that. If I do continue to see these docs, I think I may have to do so for non-pregnancy related issues (which is why I started seeing them) and if they decide to feed me their opinions on IVF, I'm just going to have to be strong enough to say that I do not want to hear them.

Devon and I had a good talk about it tonight and I just let all of my frustrations and fears out and she was really good about reminding me of the fact that it is our choice and WE know the truth and the science behind the outcomes of IVF kids. [I work in a child health research institute for God's sake, so I really did spend the entire week reading clinical studies, and the only thing I found that has been proven is that singleton IVF babies can have a lower birth rate that singleton naturally conceived babies... and not even to the point where it's a health concern].

Maybe it won't come to IVF and this next IUI will work (I'm still waiting to bleed), but if we do go to IVF, we're not going to think twice about it. My body, our choice.

Thank you also for your comments about the elevated prolactin. I spoke with my nurse and picked up a req today for more blood work, which I'll do tomorrow morning, so we'll get a better sense. I'm looking for some Chasteberry stuff and will get going on that too.

Anyway, please know that I appreciated all of your comments and thanks for reading this follow up.

Sometimes, people (in this case, my doctors) suck and should keep their opinions to themselves...


  1. I'm glad we weren't too offensive. It's hard when people you trust for other things go over the line a little and try to weigh in on areas that are really none of their business. Sure, they can have their opinions on what you should do (though I think they should probably keep them to themselves), but like you said, it's your life and your family.

  2. Ke3ep up all the work and don't read anymore studies. Just do what you do and it will happen one way or the other.

  3. Well, we are all routing for you and passionately on your side :) I hope all these frustrations are just a blip on the radar in the near future.

  4. happy to read this post this morning :)

    people do suck. it's just the beginning though - once you're pregnant and a mom people will weigh in with their assvice ALL the friggin' time! so, it's good practice now to set your boundaries of what you want to hear! ;)

  5. I'm glad you've worked some of it out for yourself, which is the only thing you can do when given advice and ideas from lots of people! Everyone has a bias, and it is disappointing to hear that bias when you've been feeling good about a relationship.

  6. i wouldn't be able to trust either practitioner for anything anymore after that. but then i'm the one who switched docs in the middle of TTC and saw 3 different OB/midwife practices while pregnant before finding the midwives who delivered the bunny at 27 weeks!