Thank you so much, as always, for your comments about the IUI timing. I'm feeling a lot better about it and am going to try to be more aware of my own personal timing for ovulation. We've been using the digital OPKs because we had trouble reading the strips (I tested positive 6 days in a row the first month), but perhaps it's time to try to find another brand.
We're probably less than a week away from the next IUI, and I finally feel like I'm back on the TTC wagon. I never thought one month off would feel like eternity, but it has. Possibly even more so because it was not our choice to take a break.
Work is kicking my ass right now. My colleague's mat leave replacement doesn't start for another month and essentially I've been working two jobs since she left in February. My director is under a lot of pressure (and just had a really bad review, which unfortunately didn't wake her up to anything) and she's taking it out on me. I am so not happy with her, or my job, right now. I'm extremely overwhelmed at work and working in PR/Communications, everything is now, now, now. Except when they can't be... like the press release I just couldn't get out the door today, so have to tackle first thing tomorrow, which was supposed to be a day dedicated to other time-sensitive tasks. I've had some things going on at home too, and haven't had a stellar week in my personal life.
Ultimately, I'm ridiculously stressed. Which isn't great, but it's fine if it's just me. It's hard, but I can handle it. But I'm worried that work won't let up and may be like this for a couple of months. And in that couple of months, I really want to get pregnant. I imagine once I tell my director that I'm pregnant (hopefully in July, if this month is our month), she'll go a little easier on me, but what until then? I wouldn't feel comfortable telling her before the three month mark... actually I don't feel comfortable telling her at all, considering our department's situation, but I'm sure I'll work up to it when I have to. But quite honestly, I can't imagine this level of stress willlead a burrowing embryo to want to stay anywhere near me.
I could leave my job, but I really don't feel good about starting a brand new job and leaving seven months later. Plus, PR/Communications jobs are really hard to come by in this city. I actually love my job when it's manageable. I do not have a good relationship with my director simply because I don't actually think she's human. Everyone (including her peers) have the same problem with her. But other than her, my colleagues rock.
I know there is no point getting stressed at the possibility of being stressed, but considering my mental health history, it's worth thinking about what steps I can take to lower my anxiety levels so that my uterus is nice and welcoming for baby. Just not sure what those steps are yet.