Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Stress in early pregnancy

Thank you so much, as always, for your comments about the IUI timing. I'm feeling a lot better about it and am going to try to be more aware of my own personal timing for ovulation. We've been using the digital OPKs because we had trouble reading the strips (I tested positive 6 days in a row the first month), but perhaps it's time to try to find another brand.

We're probably less than a week away from the next IUI, and I finally feel like I'm back on the TTC wagon. I never thought one month off would feel like eternity, but it has. Possibly even more so because it was not our choice to take a break.

Work is kicking my ass right now. My colleague's mat leave replacement doesn't start for another month and essentially I've been working two jobs since she left in February. My director is under a lot of pressure (and just had a really bad review, which unfortunately didn't wake her up to anything) and she's taking it out on me. I am so not happy with her, or my job, right now. I'm extremely overwhelmed at work and working in PR/Communications, everything is now, now, now. Except when they can't be... like the press release I just couldn't get out the door today, so have to tackle first thing tomorrow, which was supposed to be a day dedicated to other time-sensitive tasks. I've had some things going on at home too, and haven't had a stellar week in my personal life.

Ultimately, I'm ridiculously stressed. Which isn't great, but it's fine if it's just me. It's hard, but I can handle it. But I'm worried that work won't let up and may be like this for a couple of months. And in that couple of months, I really want to get pregnant. I imagine once I tell my director that I'm pregnant (hopefully in July, if this month is our month), she'll go a little easier on me, but what until then? I wouldn't feel comfortable telling her before the three month mark... actually I don't feel comfortable telling her at all, considering our department's situation, but I'm sure I'll work up to it when I have to. But quite honestly, I can't imagine this level of stress willlead a burrowing embryo to want to stay anywhere near me.

I could leave my job, but I really don't feel good about starting a brand new job and leaving seven months later. Plus, PR/Communications jobs are really hard to come by in this city. I actually love my job when it's manageable. I do not have a good relationship with my director simply because I don't actually think she's human. Everyone (including her peers) have the same problem with her. But other than her, my colleagues rock.

I know there is no point getting stressed at the possibility of being stressed, but considering my mental health history, it's worth thinking about what steps I can take to lower my anxiety levels so that my uterus is nice and welcoming for baby. Just not sure what those steps are yet.
  


6 comments:

  1. Relax and breathe. Your health, your marriage and your life is far more important. Take a rest and just focus on wonderful things.

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  2. Sorry to hear work is so stressful. I'm sorry for not remembering this (and being too lazy to scroll back through posts on my phone) but have you tried acupuncture? That was a HUGE stress reliever for me. In fact, that is the greatest benefit I got from it, hands down. Also, when I used to start stressing over my stress level (ha ha), I'd think about how many women get pregnant in bad situations - abusive relationships, extreme poverty, etc. - and remind myself that stress alone does not prevent pregnancy. Hang in there, and yay for starting up again!!

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  3. Hi there, friend. I'm so excited for you to be trying again and soon!! I thought this might be a point to consider: if you look at your life like a weights and measures scales, there are certainly some things that will weigh it down that are negative - but the other side is full of you, Devon, your love, your marriage and your enormous desire to have a baby. THAT will always count for more! Hopefully some of this stress will dissipate (fingers crossed) and if not, it is just a small part of your life (even when it feels much bigger than that). I am thinking of you!!!

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  4. I totally understand your worry, but Momma B and I looked at it this way - there's never going to be a "perfect" time to get pregnant. You can try and stack the deck in your favor as much as possible, but overall life will happen when it happens. We have little control over it. So I second what everyone else has said - take a few deep breaths, try some acupuncture (worked great for me as well!) or meditation or guided visualization (I think this part helped the most before we finally got our BFP!) Definitely focus on the fact that you can get pregnant in spite of anything ... the body is a wondrous thing! =)

    And btw I am passing along a Liebster Award. You definitely deserve it!
    http://www.agaybystory.com/2012/04/ive-been-nominated.html

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  5. I worried about the same thing the cycle I got pregnant. The week before our IUI, I was sleep-deprived, the dog had a seizure that required a 4 am trip to the ER, work was crazy. I did try to focus on relaxing, though, and took lots of walks to get out excess stressful energy and also read good calming books (some about meditation but some just for fun). I also reminded myself repeatedly that lots of women get pregnant when stressed (or worse) and I could too! And you can too!

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  6. Till the last min. I think early pregnancy is pregnancy at therir young age. Now i cleraly know about what is early preganancy? thanks...

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