Thursday, May 3, 2012

2WW almost over

Aye yay yay, I'm so sick. Sore throat, ear ache and chills came out of nowhere and I pulled an all nighter last night because my throat was so swollen I couldn't breathe correctly. And I'm actually taking a day off AND if I'm not better tomorrow, I'm taking another day off. Totally not like me, but I'm nearing the end of this 2WW and my focus is on my health and healthy embryos.

This 2WW seems a bit different, and although I'm not reading into it too much, I have welcomed the subtle nausea, cramping, skin breakouts, sore boobs and bleeding gums (which I never understood why are a symptom of pregnancy). Of course, these symptoms could be incidental, but I'm choosing to try to stay positive. Even with the low sperm count with this past IUI, I'm choosing to focus on the sperm motility factor, which was good.

We chose not to pursue trying to get our money back with the sperm sample, because I think the whole process would have stressed us out even more. And, I'm really really trying to trust the Universe on this whole process and trust that the IUI will work.

I'm 10 DPO and really, really want this 2WW to be over. Devon is away this week and won't be home til Sunday night. I'm trying to decide whether I will test this weekend without her. Part of me wants to, but part of me can't stand the thought of not being together when we get that BFP news. Also, I really do find comfort in Devon when we get a BFN too. Usually I'm pretty good about waiting until at least 13 DPO, but I'm jonesing this month for some reason.

Our house is not selling and it looks like we may have to take a loss, which means no extra money for potential IVF, nor can we pay off our debts. It sucks, but we also really want to just move on with our lives, and although they say this insane market has been about to crash for the last 10 years, I think it actually is going to get harder and harder to sell.

Work isn't much easier either, and I'm actually applying to a new job. I don't think I'm qualified and probably won't get it, but I guess I just want to get out there. That said, if we do get our BFP, I don't feel right about starting a new job and leaving for a year for mat leave 8-9 months after I start. Plus, my current job has awesome maternity benefits (although the other one will too - it's at a really great university).

Only 4 days left until testing. Only 4 days left until testing. Only 4 days left until testing. Only 4 days left until testing. God I hate those last few days.


4 comments:

  1. Keeping happy thoughts. Feel better as well.

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  2. Ugh. Hope you start feeling better soon.
    Sore boobs were my first "symptom" too.
    Only a few more days... hope they fly by.

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  3. Will be sending good thoughts your way!

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  4. Sounds like you need a vacation. Fingers crossed you get good news in a couple days..!

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