Tuesday, September 11, 2012

22 weeks calm... and a doula question

Today, BoomBoom is the size of a spaghetti squash and I am finally feeling her pretty consistently day-to-day. I love that feeling.

Although the 19/20-week ultrasound calmed my fears A LOT about the health of my baby, I expected the anxiety to creep back in within the week, as it has done after each time after I hear her heartbeat at the midwife's office. I am happy to say that almost three weeks after seeing my baby on the big screen, I have surprised myself with how calm I've been.

During these past three weeks, I've never questioned baby's health - not even for a second. I have this strange sense of calm for the first time in the entire pregnancy that I am welcoming with arms open. I'm sure that feeling her daily helps, because as long as I feel her move, I know she's alive, but it's more than that, somehow. To be realistic, this feeling may not last, but I am grateful that it's here for the moment, and love the fact that my stress is not getting passed through to my baby right now.

I've been struggling still with fatigue and start a prenatal fitness class tomorrow, which I am hoping will help with the energy. I just have to be committed to go, because I know it'll be the last thing in the world I want to do. We signed up for prenatal classes (pricey!) which start on October 11th, and I'm excited for that to start.

Also, we are currently trying to decide whether we want a doula or not for our birth. The only thing that is a deterrent is the cost (up to $1,000), otherwise it would be a no-brainer. I would love to hear from anyone about whether it was worth it to you or not and why.

The stats in our area are quite impressive with a much lower cesarean rate and much shorter delivery time and a prolonged time until a epidural is used (if at all).

Devon feels as though she needs a coach in the labour room, as it's just going to be the two of us and the midwife in there. I think I feel confident enough with a midwife only, but want to make sure that my wife feels supported too so that she can support me. Don't know where we're going to get the money if we decide on a doula, but if it's important enough to us, we'll make it work somehow.

8 comments:

  1. I would interview a few (should be free) and see what they have to say and how they interact with midwives. Also, might ask your midwife if she has a special doula she uses. My friend is a doula and she would of course say they really help while midwife is watching for baby issues, the doula calms the mom and partner. I am so happy to hear you are feeling well. Exercise is good. Just walking after work is worthwhile.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A doula is great to have, but we didn't use one. We took Bradley method classes, and I felt fairly prepared as the birth partner. Of course, labor took longer than expected and after 40+ hours, my back and head were killing me because of constantly applying pressure to Nutella's back and holding her up during contractions while we walked. So an extra person is nice to have around for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so glad to hear that you've been able to stay calm to this point. Definitely a benefit to BoomBoom and to you!

    Aside from medical staff I was the only person present for my wife's labour/son's birth. I felt fairly confident in my ability to support her though. When my sister had her baby I was her birth support as her husband was not very comfortable with the whole labour support thing. Do you have a close friend who has been through a birth that you would consider asking? If you can find someone you trust and are comfortable with it could save you some money.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was going to respond and then it was entirely too long, so I wrote a whole post which was even longer!

    http://doorsareopening.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/on-using-a-doula/

    In a nutshell, I don't think they are necessary - and there are often many other things to spend money on - but even in a short labor like mine, our doula was super helpful.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know you can get more affordable doulas. Women who are training to be doulas are obligated to attend a certain amount of births - for free. What about finding a beginner/student doula?

    I'm with you on the sense of peace. Weirdly, I've never felt this calm in my life. I'm really loving my baby's energy..or whatever it is she's doing to mine.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think Doulas are worth every penny. I didn't have a doula with my little berry's birth but I desperately wish I had. I think they make the experience better and easier on both parents and the midwife or OB.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So glad you are experiencing such calm. That is such a lovely thing about this stage of pregnancy. Being able to feel the baby makes so much difference.

    As a doula, I'm a little biased, but I do think you should find one. Many doulas will charge a sliding scale fee, and there are many of us out there who are yet to be certified who will attend births for free! Even new doulas tend to be incredibly helpful. You just want to make sure that your personalities gel and that she is offering the services you are looking for. If you have any questions about doulas, feel free to contact me. :) You can actually contact DONA international to ask them about volunteer doulas in your area as well.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Isn't it a wonderful equanimity? It's like we fast forward the spiritual work with little effort! We are considering a doula, but mostly for A since she can get anxious. We have a midwife though, and I think I'll mostly be a wild animal and crawl into a hole by myself!
    E

    ReplyDelete