Today, BoomBoom is the size of a spaghetti squash and I am finally feeling her pretty consistently day-to-day. I love that feeling.
Although the 19/20-week ultrasound calmed my fears A LOT about the health of my baby, I expected the anxiety to creep back in within the week, as it has done after each time after I hear her heartbeat at the midwife's office. I am happy to say that almost three weeks after seeing my baby on the big screen, I have surprised myself with how calm I've been.
During these past three weeks, I've never questioned baby's health - not even for a second. I have this strange sense of calm for the first time in the entire pregnancy that I am welcoming with arms open. I'm sure that feeling her daily helps, because as long as I feel her move, I know she's alive, but it's more than that, somehow. To be realistic, this feeling may not last, but I am grateful that it's here for the moment, and love the fact that my stress is not getting passed through to my baby right now.
I've been struggling still with fatigue and start a prenatal fitness class tomorrow, which I am hoping will help with the energy. I just have to be committed to go, because I know it'll be the last thing in the world I want to do. We signed up for prenatal classes (pricey!) which start on October 11th, and I'm excited for that to start.
Also, we are currently trying to decide whether we want a doula or not for our birth. The only thing that is a deterrent is the cost (up to $1,000), otherwise it would be a no-brainer. I would love to hear from anyone about whether it was worth it to you or not and why.
The stats in our area are quite impressive with a much lower cesarean rate and much shorter delivery time and a prolonged time until a epidural is used (if at all).
Devon feels as though she needs a coach in the labour room, as it's just going to be the two of us and the midwife in there. I think I feel confident enough with a midwife only, but want to make sure that my wife feels supported too so that she can support me. Don't know where we're going to get the money if we decide on a doula, but if it's important enough to us, we'll make it work somehow.