Tuesday, September 4, 2012

You know what's ridiculous?

This is ridiculous.

I decided today to look into daycares for February 2014, when I would need to return to work. Keep in mind that this is 18 months away. I've heard through media and some friends that it's tough to find a daycare in this city, so I figured I'd at least email a few places for more info.

There is a great daycare right across the street from my work, which would be perfect. It's just 10 minutes away from home too. I emailed the administrator and got a response with a document to fill out to be placed on the waitlist. The email wrapped up with the following:

"Please keep in mind that the waitlist for XXX childcare is 4.5 years"

Four and a half years??? You mean, my child can finally attend when she's old enough that she won't need to go to daycare anymore? What do people do? Call up and say, "So in about three and a half years, we plan on having unprotected sex. Can our future fetus get on the waitlist for your establishment?"

I thought this was a one-off, but several responses are coming back with similar time frames. It's also going to cost roughly 50% of my net profits per month at my current job to put my kid in daycare (and I make a decent salary). Is it worth going back to a job that I don't really like when I'd only be pocketing half my salary, when all I want to do is stay home and raise my kid?

Unfortunately, we live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. There was a recent survey by a Canadian bank which figured that owning an average house in my city takes 91% of ones salary. How is that sustainable? Makes me want to get up and move to a small town, but there, we will face other challenges as a queer family.


  1. WOW. We have that here in Los Angeles but the wait is not as long as your child has to be born before you get on a list so everyone is equal when the list starts. We also have childcare all over and they pop up from time to time. Our churches seem to have the best ones. They are very popular and are much less than private schools.

  2. We live in a small town in Maine which is queer friendly but I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years because with 3 kids, it just doesn't pay to work! Childcare would be equal to what I would make. I will go back to work once they are all in public school ;) Good luck!!

  3. We put The Bean on some ridiculously long wait lists (which we had to pay to do!) either just before or just after he was born. We were told 2-3 years, but got a few phone calls just after his first birthday, once we already had him in a wondeful little home daycare.

  4. The childcare situation in the US is awful as well for the most part (but at least your maternity leave is SO much better). It's definitely good to get on waiting lists just in case, but I hope you're able to find a good back-up situation. We lucked out with our current daycare/preschool because we got him on the waiting list at a later age and a spot opened up unexpectedly.

  5. Same here, Lex. It's unbelievable. I'm thinking we must be in the same city...it's UNREAL. I got myself (and future baby) on waiting lists at 4 daycares. But what it's looking like is she will have to go to an in-home daycare, at least for the first year or so. SIGH.

    As the sole parent, it's all on me. I'd love to be able to be a stay at home mama but unless I meet a rich partner in the next 6 months (fat chance), that isn't happening.

    I feel your pain.

  6. Also....what about Guelph? Lesbian mom mecca.

  7. that is craziness! there has got to be some inside crap going on that people are bribing their kids' way in to skirt that waiting game. so insane. hopefully you find something that fits your family when the time comes. oh, also thought i'd mention that we're not timeline/ticker twins anymore :( oh well, at least we're both on our way. keep feeling good ;)

  8. you MUST live in the GTA like me! I also am looking onto day care options for my Jan 2014 return. Ugh!

  9. Yikes, I never thought about needing daycare. I used to think that my partner being on disability was not so great, but now that she doesn't have to work, due to her mental illness (BiPolar and PTSD, Agoraphobia, Panic Disorder), she can stay home with our daughter. Its been a blessing in disguise.

    I hope you can find good options for your little one!