Saturday, October 20, 2012

A little lonely, a lot pregnant

Thank God it's Saturday. I'm struggling these days, mostly because last week and next week, I have something every day after work. If I don't have at least two hours at the end of my work day where I can just come home, take off my bra, and collapse horizontally, I am in constant pain all night. My rib pain is back with a vengeance and is getting really hard to deal with. The only relief I get is sleep, and the mornings aren't bad pain-wise. Devon tried to give my ribs a little massage the other night; even though she was super gentle, I was in tears in pain. I see my RMT today (also our doula), so I'm hoping she can do something to give me some relief. 

We started prenatal classes last week and it was nothing like I expected. We went with a private company as opposed to a hospital class for numerous reasons. It also came highly recommended by our midwifery group. It is run by a doula and the classes are based on Birthing From Within philosophy/practice. I consider myself a very open-minded person, but the first class was just too far out there... complete with a visit from the oxytocin fairy. We were asked to draw "A Womb with a View" on art paper with pastels and spent much of the class holding ice (because I'm sure that's what labour pain feels like). We are the only same-sex couple, which we expected and were fine with. There is one very young single girl and the rest are married hetero couples. It's a good group. The second class was a little more tangible and much more informative, so I think it's going to get better.

Speaking of being open-minded, I went to my naturopath this week. This is the same naturopath who sees Devon and has had some messages from Dev's dead mother for her. This week, she had messages from my fetus for me. Apparently BoomBoom needed to tell me some things. Very random things. I don't even really know what to do with the messages except just accept that they are something I needed to hear. Yeah... some interesting people in my life these days.

Devon is gearing up for her (music) competition in a few weeks in the States. I've decided not to go and I'm not super happy about it, but financially, it would just be stupid, and if I went, the competition days are often 15 hours long and I'm not sure that would be wise. Nor would a flight, I think. It's silly... to fly out of our nearest American airport, the flight would cost $180 each way. Flying out of Canada, it's about $800. Redick. We usually fly out of our fellow US airport, but if I did go, I would probably not fly with Devon and therefore would probably have to fly out of Canada. I think it's best that I stay home and watch the competition on the webcast. Boo.

Leading up to contest is always tough too, as Devon is basically performing or rehearsing 5-6 nights a week and is pretty much staying at work until she has to do so. She's away this weekend on a coaching retreat and leaves next Saturday for 8 days. I know it's silly, but it's the first Halloween we've been apart since we met, and we have a tradition of taking our nieces and nephew out trick-or-treating. Instead, this Halloween, I have an appointment with my midwife and Dev can't be there, and then I'm either going to go to the kids house afterwards or just crash on my own. No painting my tummy like a pumpkin or anything like that. Or like this!

It sucks, but I too was involved in this organization for 10 years (it's how we met) and I know the commitment, so I understand. That said, I don't know how we are going to get through these bi-annual competition periods when I'm home alone with a baby. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I'm also feeling really lonely. I don't have the energy to go out with friends, so I'm stuck at home with my cats (who annoy the hell out of me), watching bad TV, icing or heating my ribs. And yes, I know that now I'm in my third trimester, I'll just be getting more and more uncomfortable. Can't wait.

I've updated my belly bump pics. Now that the sun is no longer shining when we get up, we're going to have to get a little better at the lighting. I wish we could move the photos to sometime during the day when the light is better, but it's the only time we're home together.

Oh, almost forgot - new milestone this week: BoomBoom is stretching the outside of my stomach to the point where my entire belly moves. I was giving a presentation at work this week and just before I got up to do it, BoomBoom kicked so hard and popped out under my ribs enough for the lady next to me to gasp. Kicks are starting to hurt and it is SO weird to see her under there, happily moving parts of me around. For the first time too, I can feel the punches and kicks separately when she decides to do both - on either side of me. Crazy. However, she's still not very good at performing as soon as Devon comes to watch/feel.


  1. WOW, amazing activities in your life right now. What kind of musical competition? Does Devon play an instrument or sing or what exactly. I must have missed this part of your blogs. Sounds like you are settling in for the last trimester. Can't wait to see photos of Boom Boom.

  2. She's a singer... we both are. I just "retired" :)

  3. I had no idea. Does she have any site or you that I can listen to either of you singing?

  4. It's great to read your stories of pregnancy. I hope that your rib pains go away. I also hope that you have a great Halloween. I know that it will be hard to be at home alone but maybe it won't be as lonely as you think.

  5. Even though you will be watching via Webcam, at least if your ribs are bothering you, you can be in comfort, as well as missing a probably very uncomfortable flight.

    Interesting about the kicking/punching. It must feel very weird, I can't wait to feel it.

  6. I need to tell you that I come here feeling miserable (I'm 24 weeks along) and then I read what you've written and feel like I could've said it myself, and some of the misery slips away. Thank you for that.

    My ribs are also hurting like a b!tch. I can't sleep at night. I'm suffering from pregnancy induced insomnia.

    Glad to hear you found a doula you're comfy with. A friend of mine also has an RMT for her doula. I bet you and I are separated by like 2 degrees of separation.