Monday, October 22, 2012

Shit you shouldn't say to pregnant women

Worst comment of the week, from someone I haven't seen since I got pregnant: "I totally expected you to carry just in your belly, but you're carrying this pregnancy all over - especially in your face."

I thought the comment last week along the lines of "Looks like you'll be getting a pre-Christmas surprise - wonderful!" was bad, especially when I had to explain that baby is due well after the new year and not anywhere near Christmas. But apparently, this was was just a warm-up.

I always find it fascinating that having a baby bump invites people to just say the stupidest shit. I didn't like the "are you sure it's not twins?" but that feels like nothing compared to this week's gem.

Anyone have any other gems?


15 comments:

  1. My Nana said she could tell I was having a girl because I was carrying "all over". Thanks Nana.

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  2. oh man those are rough ones. did you respond to these comments with "oh really? maybe you should go F off?" bc you can totally get away with that when youre prego. sorry people are saying things that are difficult to hear every few days. let me remind you how beautiful your belly is!

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  3. Sometimes I wonder if they ever think back to that comment and feel bad, like, "Oh I can't believe I said that! I must have sounded like a total jerk!" Being pregnant doesn't mean you view weight gain differently - at least not so it's okay for people to say things like that!

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  4. anything about the body is not okay. i got "oh you don't look that far along at all" or even "you're carrying it well" which i took to mean "you're too skinny" which made me livid. with my food issues during my pregnancy, i felt like each of those comments was a dig at me and what i wasn't doing to nurture and support my unborn child. bottom line, i don't want to hear any comments at all about my body or my baby from you, casual acquaintance or total stranger. period. not okay.

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  5. I didn't get many body comments, but I got a lot of "OMG you're old!" The worst was while I was on hospital bedrest waiting for an u/s at the high-risk MFM office, hoping my little preemie would hold out for a few more days, and had another patient trying to interrogate me about why I was having a baby when I was so old. After my daughter was born, I started dyeing my hair again just because I was so sick of comments and being mistaken for her grandmother.

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  6. Wow, that's awful. Good comeback might've been "well, at least pregnancy is my excuse...what's yours?"
    One of Nutella's co-workers took a guess on which sex she was carrying just before we found out, and demanded to look at her butt which she said looked bigger, so she must be carrying a boy. lol.

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  7. Ouch, those are horrible comments. From your bump pictures, you're carrying very well, I can only imagine the comments I'll get being this big to start.

    Your baby bump is beautiful, as are you. Be proud of you, and try not to let the jerks bring you down.

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  8. I had someone look me up and down, and up and down, then finally pronounce my head looked small - huh? Weirdest comment ever for me

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  9. Yesterday someone told me to sit up straight, because I looked frumpier than I even do when standing up.

    I've had people ask me if it's twins. I've had women at work admonish me for drinking 1 coffee/day. Being pregnant apparently invites all kinds of rude/thoughtless comments.

    I can't wait for this to be over. 16 weeks to go, for me...

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  10. I was told my the ob many years ago I had breeder hips and should not populate the Earth with to many kids

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  11. Wow... I haven't had anything bad yet, just my husband telling me that my butt is getting very "plump" and "cushion-y." Grrrr....

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  13. I always chuckled to myself about those kinds of comments. They seem to be bred of ignorance about what pregnant bodies might look like and social anxiety about how to handle the very obvious elephant in the room.

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  14. I got (from my mother in law I might add) "it must be a girl because she is taking all the beauty out of you". In reference to my acne and greasy skin. Oh, gee, thanks.

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  15. LOL, I wrote a whole article on that topic, because it was just so frequent when I was pregnant. Try these on for size: http://rgarnett.hubpages.com/hub/10-Things-You-Should-Not-Say-To-A-Pregnant-Woman

    My favorite now that I can stand thinking about it was when people would literally stop me in the hallway at work and talk to my stomach and I wasn't even showing yet.

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