About Me

Okay, so I’m not a mom yet, but I'm going to be soon (January 2013).

Crazy – yes. Lesbian – yes. So let’s define the latter two.

Lesbian: Easy definition. I am a woman who likes other women. In fact, I’m married to the most gorgeous and amazing woman I have ever met, and I’m incredibly lucky.

Crazy: I call myself crazy because I’ve struggled with depression for the better (worse) half of my life. Like not just your “normal” depression, but your institutionalized, heavily medicated depression. The kind where they keep you in isolation on suicide watch, and when they don’t know what to do with you anymore, they shock your brains out with way too much Electro-Convulsive Therapy.

Now before you send the social workers, hear me out - I’m better. I haven’t had a depressive episode in years. I still take medication for my mental health, but I am doing everything I have to do to make it so I’ll be able to carry a baby safely for both mother and child, as well as my partner, Devon, who will be extremely involved in the process.

My name is Lex. I have wanted a baby for as long as I remember. Like since I was three years old. I’ve wanted to carry a child in my belly. I get those crazy hormonal urges where my belly literally aches to be filled. My greatest fear is to wake up when my eggs are old and realize I’ve missed out on the most important gift of my life.

So, this blog is a place where I will be writing about my journey to become a mother: From how it affects my marriage, my health, my family, my baby’s health, my community, and the rest of my life.

And at the end of this journey, I will be able to post a baby picture of our child and begin the next journey of embarking on motherhood as someone who deals with mental illness.

9 comments:

  1. Ah! I just found you, and you almost describe me! Crazy. Lesbian. Gonna me a mom. I was looking for a blog like this, and didn't find one. So, I started one. Glad I found yours now. Can't wait to read and catch up.

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  2. Good luck with your quest, I'm also trying to get pregnant with AI, as a single Mum.

    I hope this article gives you some hope:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/mar/05/depression-motherhood-children-viv-groskop

    Best of luck!

    :)

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  3. Hello and nice to 'meet' you!
    We are alike except I became more crazy with teenagers! I am a mom to 3 and they are old, sort of, 21, 16 and 14. And I love my soon to be wofe with my entire being!
    I just read your blog today and I am sending loads of wishing hearts to you as you go through the journey to motherhood and look forward to all the amazing stories of motherhood with you!

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  4. I just discovered your blog via twitter, I am also a crazy, lesbian, and just starting to work on the mom part, unlike you I am also a recovering drug addict, with 3 years clean. My partner and I both want one child, we have researched donors, and considered a few, I lost hope that I would ever have a child, but after reading your blog it made me feel like I am not alone in the way I feel, and I feel like I can keep trying, that I can do this, and that I will have a healthy baby. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and to never give up.

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  5. Hey Anon,
    Thanks so much for your note. Very good to meet you and I totally appreciate your comment of not being alone. I wish you the best of luck with your journey and your health. Congrats on 3 years - that's awesome.

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  6. Hello there! Just found your blog and I look forward to following along! :-)

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  7. Hi Lex,
    So glad found I found your blog and congratulations on getting pregnant! I've just started my own blog (www.gaybyjourney.com) about my journey towards starting a family. I'm also a lesbian, with a gorgeous partner and we have just started the process. It's great to find others in a similar situation and those who have had a child - helps me get through the doubt in my mind about it all.
    Good luck...and I look forward to following your journey.

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  8. Wow, I'm so amazed that there are other lesbian mom bloggers out there! I just started a blog too because I didnt think there were others. My wife is due in March, I had our first baby. So interested to look back on your past posts! :D

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  9. I'm so glad to have came across your blog tonight. I just recently started a blog to journal my wife and my trying to become moms. I, like you, have suffered greatly with depression. I was finally diagnosed bi-polar about 3 years ago. My wife is actually going to carry our first child. We have had many ups and downs on this path to start our family. We thought the blog would be a perfect way to answer all our family and friends' questions concerning "exactly how we are doing this". Since we live in northeastern Louisiana, we, as lesbians, are a minority, much less "lesbian moms". I haven't gotten a chance to read much of your blog yet, but I intend on catching up.

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