Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Cry Me A (Red) River

Well, AF came today in full force... like FULL force... like the kind when you know She's there simply because you're sitting in a puddle. Usually I have some warning, but it seems like it was an extra slap in the face.

I guess I'm eager to put this month behind me and focus on next month, considering my frame of mind for the first part of my 2WW. It's still really tough and I think this let-down is actually harder than my first. (*of course* you won't be that person who gets pregnant on the first try... but it'll work the second time).

While I was quite negative at the beginning of the 2WW, your comments on my post really did help me focus on the positive, the "what ifs" and the possibility that this could be it. These 2WWs are quite excruciating. Now I know.

What I'm not fond of is how short the luteal phase is after a trigger shot (although it does make the 2WW more like a 1.5WW, which I guess is okay. Plus, less money spent on HPTs). It feels like I'm fucking with my cycle way too much though and the process is less intuitive, but I guess there is not much room for intuition and creativity when it comes to timing a conception.

I would love to hear from people who have used a hCG shot for IUIs specifically, who can ovulate on their own... do you think it's worth it?

One nurse told us not to add Clomid because I'm young and reproductively healthy, and that if anything, we should do back-to-back IUIs on our fourth month, if we haven't conceived already. Another nurse told us to add Clomid before our third try. A resident told us to do nothing - just to keep at it. I don't even have an RE anymore really, and won't be able to get in to see our new one (whoever that is) before our next try, because I'm away next week. When did others add "help"?

I'm bummed, and for a few specific reasons:
  • We only have one sample left from this donor, who is now unavailable (sold out), and I really want to get pregnant with this donor.
  • I'm potentially going to be in Texas when I next ovulate, or have to go in for an IUI the day I get back, which will be impossible as I am organizing a massive conference for that day at work. I haven't found a good way to balance work and family yet.
  • I don't want to be 9 months pregnant in the heat of August. (Now that's just selfish and not really worth complaining about).
Ah well. What can you do, right?

9 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. My AF was extra heavy this month too - sometimes the universe is cruel. Big hugs to you. Here's hoping the third time is the charm!

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  2. Damn, I'm sorry. Our plan was to do 3 tries with one donor, 3 tries with another donor, and then get an HSG and start monitoring and see if Clomid was needed.

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  3. so sorry. our plan was similar to strawberry. try 3 times with one and then another and then, due to my insurance move to the big guns.

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  4. I liked moving to Clomid because I felt like I was not living out the definition of insanity (you know, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results). We did 3 at home and then 1 natural and 2 with Clomid before we took our break.

    I will say that the trigger shot made my period SUPER heavy.

    Hugs to you!

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  5. Sorry to hear but it will happen.

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  6. We were told by our doctor at the fertility clinic that there was no evidence to show that two IUI inseminations in a month makes it more likely to get pregnant, but they still encouraged us to do two. (We didn't take their advice --I'm a stats girl and I don't know why they would encourage us to do two tries if it's not shown to make a difference.)

    We didn't use any drugs, but our clinic would do blood work on CD3 and then, based on cycle length, around CD10 and every day after until Jen ovulated/ had an LH surge. On that day we go in around noon for an insemination. It took five tries before Jen got pregnant.

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  7. I was thinking to myself "my cycles can't be THAT long" because we were pretty close together for your first / my second and now I am about three weeks away from my next try after skipping a month - the trigger explains it!

    ANYWAY, my doctor hasn't said anything about triggers... we have been using OPKs and u/s to monitor and decide when go time will be. We do back-to-backs but Allison is right - there are studies that show that it doesn't make a difference. That being said, not triggering means finding ovulation is even MORE art than science and if we hadn't done two this last time I don't think there really would have been a chance based on the length of time sperm seem to live, etc.

    We used drugs on our second try (letrozole, not clomid; doctor produced a folder full of studies demonstrating effectiveness of letrozole) and will again for try three. At our last appointment, the doctor laid out plans for up to the next two years. He keeps things changing and expanding and I definitely appreciate that.

    I'll stop rambling now, but in answer to your last question... that's exactly the question. No two people will do it the same and every way probably has some effectivness and most of it seems to be a well-timed crapshoot.

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  8. I'm sorry about AF. I don't think the disappointment ever gets any better--just that the wait doesn't always seem so hard. What I would do, if you really want that donor, is take the clomid (and monitoring), take a baby aspirin every day to keep your lining from getting thinned out, and do a trigger shot. Then go on progesterone for the duration of the TWW to lengthen your luteal phase and let the embryo have a chance to implant. After we went to see the RE that was the first protocol she put us on (although we did do two IUIs each cycle). I will say that this didn't work for me, but I think there was something else going on there--it certainly works for other people! And if you only have one more shot with this donor, why not make it as good as possible?

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