Friday, February 25, 2011

Doctor, doctor

I had my physical today and asked my GP for a referral to the clinic, which I was insanely nervous about. She’s quite awkward, actually, so between the two of us, it’s the awkward leading the awkward… which gets even more awkward if one of the awkward folks (me!) is butt naked.

Good times…

I figured I'd get it right out of the way at the beginning of the appointment, before she was staring up inside of me. I didn't want to have the conversation through my legs, you know?

My voice was shaking, but I managed to get out "my partner and I want to start a family," a statement to which she a) didn't cower, b) didn't judge and c) responded positively, against all of my expectations.

She did respond positively at first... and then she took it upon herself to explain that I would have to find a donor (really? I had no idea! Earth shattering information!) and that I would probably need to find out if I ovulate (um... yeah, I've been tracking my ovulation - at least on paper - for a year), and that I would need to read up on how IUI works (oh god, lady, you have no idea).

I told her we were excited to get the ball rolling, to which she replied, "well hold on, it's going to take a while". Yeah, I got that. That's why we're eager to start the ball rolling... duh.

She suggested a clinic which we've heard (from a few gay friends) isn't too gay-friendly, and seemed a bit surprised when I handed over an intake form from the clinic we want to go to. She asked if I wanted to get started on blood tests, disease tests, etc., so I have about 3 pages of blood requests in my handbag, which I'll go do on the specific days of my cycle. She went over my head meds and was actually really impressed with how I've "slimmed down" and much against my expectations, didn't say anything about ME risking my baby's health.

All in all, she was okay, but one thing got to me. I guess she wanted to take it upon herself to tell me realistically how this was going to work and for me to get that this isn't a walk in the park.

"It will take some time," she says, "And it won't work the first time, and it will probably not work for a while, and then you may get pregnant and you have a high chance of miscarrying..." and then I phased her voice out.

I am not one to push positive thinking, but seriously? I get that miscarriage is a fact of fertility, but how 'bout you just write out your little referral and let me have my excited time without telling me all the bad things I should start to expect.

At least she won't be my OBGYN, I guess.

BUT ANYWAY... another step closer!

10 comments:

  1. Wow what a downer doctor. How about all the wonderful possibilities. Glad you walked away still positive.

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  2. I'm glad the doctor wasn't totally against it and she gave you some things to look out for (even though it was all negative).
    Yay for getting closer!!!

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  3. Holy cow, that doctor is some pessimist. Just continue to follow your path. It's totally worth it (and block out the negative things)

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  4. Charlie and I are going to the doctor next week and I'm worried about what their going to say. It just all new....ahhhhh. I feel like screaming; its crazy.

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  5. Gah. Glad you got the referral, even if it sounded painful. Is she otherwise a good GP match for you? If not, maybe it is worth shopping around for someone you feel more comfortable with, because I think it does help if you feel like your GP is on-side. Thanks btw for thinking good thoughts for us. Same to you!

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  6. WOW!! Negative much?! I hope you wont have to deal with her too much or not at all in the future. Try not to let her steal your excitement!! I know Im rooting for you!!

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  7. Just found your blog. Doctor sounds awful, but congrats on getting the ball rolling.

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  8. Agree with everyone else- total downer! I've definitely known people who used ICI or IUI and it's worked on the first try. Not to mention it worked on the third try for us. Hope you don't let her get you down, ick. the ball is rolling!!

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  9. You're one step closer, yay! Your outlook is amazing - and that's what really counts. Visualize how you want this all to play out and then let it happen, downer doctors be damned. She was just a necessary cog in the machine...really glad she won't be your OBGYN!

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