Saturday, February 12, 2011

On the Couch, Looking for Sperm

It didn't spill...

Devon and I have spent the last hour or so on the couch, looking online at fertility clinics and sperm banks. Although I've done a little research on my own, Devon was interested in getting involved and checking out some options.

When I saw my doc on Thursday, she said that I would be ready to start trying - like really, really trying - two months after I quit my anti-anxiety completely... which is in, well, two months and 6 days. Crazy. I still want to look into reproductive psych further, but we have to start somewhere.

We have been told my numerous people that the most popular fertility clinic in our city is not really gay friendly, which sucks, but at least there is another option. We honestly don't know where to start... and I guess we just need to make an appointment at the clinic, but we're going to talk to another lesbian couple we know that have done this just last year - see what they suggest.

I'm excited. I'm so frikkin' excited. And it's great to see that Devon seems excited too. She had no idea that you could just look for sperm on the internet. I didn't know that until recently either. So, for fun, we checked out donors with her history and features, and I really had no idea how intense the process was. We were like, "Ooh, he looks good" to "Oh my god, *that's* the one" to "Math? Who cares if the kid likes math?"

Really, who cares if the kid likes math? That said, we want a kid who likes music, so I guess there are people out there who care if their kid likes math.

It's interesting having been a reader for a while and reading about how people start out really caring about their donors, and then slowly, it becomes less and less important. I wonder if that will happen... I guess it just gets to a point where your number one priority is if you get pregnant and not if your baby has a cleft chin. I get it, but for now, I'd like to be excited about it. And it's important for me to have Devon choose who she thinks would suit her side of this baby.

And, I just think it's awesome that on a Saturday, we're sitting on the couch, drinking coffee, and looking for sperm.

Love it.


  1. I think it is fabulous too. Can't wait to follow you on this journey.

  2. Hooray for sperm looking. Exciting stuff.

  3. So happy and excited for you! :) For what it's worth, once we settled on our donor, we were both really excited and we stayed that way. (We were fortunate enough to have a lesbian owned sperm bank, so we had the added benefit of their support through the process too.) But we still look forward to our son turning 18 and having the choice to meet him - he seems like a wonderful guy, and he helped us create an amazing kid!!

    Good luck and happy searching!

    (By the way, I hope my last comment wasn't's just info I wish someone had shared with me earlier on in my own process.)

  4. I'm so happy that you guys are doing this! I can't wait to see what you come up with.
    Good luck in this journey!!

  5. Looking for sperm was definitely the fun/easy part. Of course, our choices were narrowed waaaay down because we only wanted a redhead. Didn't get that redheaded kid though ;)

  6. This is so exciting! I can't believe how quickly you've made this big decision and now you're cruising for sperm on the internet (so to speak). We've picked a bunch of donors so far and, though it gets easier to make the selection then it was the first time, we still get caught up in little details. Sometimes picking sperm makes me feel incredibly shallow (hello, baby picture, our most important profile component), but you only have so much info to go on. Have fun!