HSG, easy as 1-2-3. Or 4. Or, not so much, actually.

I went for my Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test on Thursday.

Devon is out of town in Calgary for a conference and I got a call a few days ago from the radiologist’s office for a cancellation appointment. I took it, even though I wanted her there and she wanted to be there. I had already been turned away the month before and didn’t have an appointment this month and was told to “call back and try to make an appointment for next month,” but was warned that it was hard to get in. [The receptionist told me not to have sex on Tuesday or Wednesday night and I kind of smiled over the phone. I had sex on Wednesday. Ha.]

Although I really wanted the support, I figured the important part was the results, and that this was just a blip to get there. Devon did ask me to call someone as a backup to pick me up after if I couldn't drive, so I ended up telling my sister-in-law, because the only other person who knows we're going through this was with clients. I actually felt kind of good telling my SIL. She's got four kids and has been excited for years for us to start a family. I felt like I was actually doing something worthwhile in her eyes. 

I dropped Dev off at the airport and then went to the clinic. I changed into the god awful paper gown and sat in the change room and waited, shivering, until a lovely older Scottish nurse asked me to come in. I hopped up on the table/platform and shuffled my ass down to the bottom. 


She asked me if I had gone online to read about the test. I said yes. She said what was on the internet wasn't true. That it didn't hurt. That didn't really calm me that much (and then I looked up reviews of this specific clinic afterwards and read a few horror stories... I guess that's what she was referring to).


Radiologist walked in and introduced himself. He was wearing a headlamp. Awesome. He was good at the beginning about letting me know what he was doing, but then after some frustrations, he stopped talking. He inserted the speculum and washed me out with antiseptic three or four times - which was an odd feeling of cold rushing through my body. He asked me to lie my legs down flat, and he pulled the xray machine over me. Extremely uncomfortable.


The speculum kept slipping. He kept having to turn the overhead lights back on and then opened me up further and reinserted it. He did this four times, and each time, it hurt more. He looked at me the last time and said, "I hoped not to have to do this, but it's not staying in the right position, so I'm going to have to stretch you open". Ugh. And then the dye was inserted into me.


I have a hard enough time with paps, so this was tough. On the booking form, it said it would take 30 minutes, which I originally thought was the length of the actual HSG test, but luckily the test took about 15 minutes. Would probably be more like 5 if the speculum had actually stayed. He kept telling me that I might feel a pinch and/or feel crampy. I felt both.


On the second or third time, I just gritted my teeth, closed my eyes and repeated my mantra over and over to myself: "This is for my family. This is for my family. This is for my family." 

I suppose I could've asked about the test results right then and there, but honestly, I didn't want them to be the ones telling me if there was something wrong, and I also wanted Devon to be there with me when I find out. The miner radiologist left the room. The nurse asked me to stay on the table.

I looked down and (pardon the TMI) there was a bloody chunk on my gown. Like a chunk from my insides. The nurse told me to put on a pad, in case the dye leaked out. She said I might bleed a bit and feel crampy. When I went to change, I went to the washroom and I was bleeding quite a bit. I continued to bleed a little bit for about two hours. I went straight back to work, called Devon as she was boarding her plane, and felt like I was having moderate period cramps all day.

But it was just one day. Yesterday, I felt fine. 

I went to my best friend's house yesterday. She is on her second month of trying to get pregnant. She is using ovulation sticks and had had sex already that day, and was going to again after I left. She kept saying "I could be pregnant right now. Today could be the day." And I just felt sad. The pains - physical and emotional - that we have to go through to "keep up" with the breeders is starting to hit. I hope she got pregnant yesterday. And I hope that I am not too far behind.