My best friend told me last night that she's pregnant after 4 months of trying. She's only 5 weeks into it, and with the exception of her mom and sister, I'm the only one who knows. It's such a weird feeling being simultaneously so thrilled for her and so sad for me. It feels awful not to feel 100% happy about such an amazing milestone. Obviously with her, I was ecstatic, and showed no sign of the hurt that I was feeling.
She told me to hurry up and have a baby so that we could have mat leave together (it's a year in Canada). I smiled and said that would be amazing... which it would be... but it's hard not to think about how small a chance there is for that scenario. If Devon and I are lucky enough to start trying at the end of August and lucky enough to get pregnant on the first try, then yes – it’s doable, and I want to go into this with positivity. Maybe I just have to work on that.
It's not a nice feeling to feel so sad after a joyous announcement, and it's a bit of an eye opener that there is going to be a lot more of this type of thing. I can imagine it just gets harder when you are actually going through the TTC process.
But hey – at least I got her extra ovulation strips that she doesn’t have a need for anymore.