Week 1 of this 2WW (barely)

Who am I kidding? It's been a whopping 4 days, hardly halfway through a week, and I finally understand why the 2WW is excruciatingly difficult.

I had Thursday/Friday booked off work for vacation months ago, and though I wish now that I had actually had vacation days, I was really happy that I could do all of this stuff without worrying about getting back to my desk. I tested positive on the OPK Thursday morning and was due to go in for an ultrasound that morning anyhow, so it was good timing. Eggs were a good size, and uterine lining was thick, but they still wanted me to have a trigger shot to have a bit more control over the timing.

Long story kind-of short: On Thursday, I took the prescription for Ovidrel and put it in my back pocket and walked to the pharmacy 5 blocks away from the clinic. I got to the prescription counter and realized that the prescription was gone. I traced my steps up the street, picking up every white piece of trash looking for it. Called Devon all "No-I'm-okay, really... don't-worry-I'll-be-fine". Exactly halfway between the clinic and the pharmacy, the prescription was lying in a ditch on the road. Picked it up, gave it to the pharmacist, went to get my wallet from my purse and it wasn't there. Walk back to the car, finally found my wallet waaaay underneath the driver's seat. Went back to pharmacy, paid for meds, walked back to clinic and Devon was there waiting for me. She'd left work after hearing how scattered I was. Thank god.

On the morning of the IUI (Friday), I went for my first acupuncture treatment, which was really nice because the doctor left me alone for about 20 minutes with the needles in, so it allowed me to calm the fuck down, which I really really needed.

The IUI went well, I guess. Devon and I managed to make it "our" moment, which was actually my main concern. It's funny how superstitious one becomes. I picked out smiley face underwear to match the smiley face on the OPK. I wore a rose quartz around my neck that Devon got years ago and brought out for the occasion. We bought a really cute onesie the night before and brought it to the treatment (left it in the bag, but had it near). We had a joke that because the donor plays bass, we had to have a bass-heavy song for right afterwards. Turned out we used the Black-Eyed Peas song Boom Boom Pow (we're calling the potential fetus Boom Boom). 

I don't know why we did those things. We just felt better doing them, like it was an important occasion, which it was. I know it's all about biology and timing and has little to do with songs or semi-precious stones or underwear, but we both felt that we should do something. As silly as it sounds, it just made sense to us.

The IUI was uncomfortable, but over fast, though the nurse who did it was a talker, and I so wanted to shut her up, but felt rude. I know she was trying to distract me from the discomfort. Devon and I stayed in the room for about 20 minutes afterwards, and that was pretty special. 

It's interesting: although this is my first IUI, I feel as though I've been on this journey for a long time already. We decided to go ahead with trying for a child at the end of 2008. I've been weaning off several medications for over two years to ready my body for a baby. We've been to many many medical appointments with many many specialists that were mental health/reproductive health-related. It's been a long ride already, and I feel blessed that it is finally at a tangible level where something can actually happen. It may be another long road, but I'm thrilled that we've made it to this stage of the journey. I hope this stage is a quick one though.

I've been cramping since the IUI - kind of like period cramps. I'm not sure what that means. I'm remaining very optimistic - I have to. Except for a wee bit today: I had a minor panic moment today at work when I misplaced a very important file where the pit of my stomach just dropped and before I could get a hold of myself, started thinking that I was killing my fetus in that moment with the stress levels... gotta work on that. Yes, I know embryos/fetuses can withstand a lot, but if there is something in there, it probably hasn't even had a chance to figure out where it's going to burrow. Of course, the cramping went away for a few hours, and now it's back, which I'm taking as a good sign.

So yeah, excited and really wanting the 2 weeks to hurry up. Nurse says I may get my period 5 days early because of the shot, so if it's negative, I'll know early next week. Let's hope that's not the case.

Thank you so much for all of your support during this stage - it's wonderful!