A special thanks to all of the people who encouraged me to check in on my appointment status at the fertility clinic – I called and spoke with some lovely people this morning, was very pleasant with them, and we have an appointment for the end of the month!
I would love to hear from people about gender. To get a female doctor, the wait is 3 months. To be seen by a male doctor, the wait is a mere week and a half. He is the head honcho of the whole program, was a medical director of a very high-up institution, and has an amazing CV… and yes, I’ve checked him out pretty well.
Maybe I am just anxious to see anybody at this point, but I would love to hear from people whether they made a similar choice – or a different choice to have a female doctor. Yes, it would probably be nicer to have a female under the hood, and I don’t want to say I’m a little desperate to get going… but I’m kind of desperate to get going.
So we have a female doctor, but I was surprised to find out that the doctor isn't the one that does the IUIs anyway. The doctor makes the decisions as far as what they recommend your next step to be, but the nurses actually do the procedure. I'm not sure if that's normal or not, but it's the way it's done here.
ReplyDeleteCan you BEGIN seeing the male doc and be put on a wait list to get in to a female one when a slot opens? That way you don't have to wait, can have a doc you want (eventually) and may actually get to like the male doc. Good luck, with whatever you choose!
ReplyDeleteI would say meet with the male doc, and base your decision on whether or not you feel comfortable with him.
ReplyDeleteWe were against a male doc in the beginning - and our doc was only a "back up" to our midwife. After she encouraged us to meet with her top choice, who happened to be male, we were ecstatic. His manner and approach were a perfect fit for us. And since we ended up having to transport to the hospital, he was the one who handled the actual delivery, with our midwife there in more of a doula capacity. We were in very good hands, and had a wonderful experience.
So, yeah, do what makes you comfortable, and don't rule someone out solely on gender. Especially since that "desperation" you feel is momentum, and energy, good things to seize upon! My two cents and then some. :)
We waited for the woman, but only because it fit our vacation plans (her first appointment was the day we got back) and because she had been the one specifically recommended to us. I've had male drs before and I think the personality matters a lot more than their gender--honestly, it's strange having anyone that all up in your business if you aren't dating, so whether they have matching parts shouldn't make much difference, i don't think.
ReplyDeleteI say see the "man" as it gets you in the door and then I am sure switching is allowed. So exciting.
ReplyDeletewe saw a male RE and *loved* him. i wouldn't have traded him for any of the female docs in the practice. and, like one of the pp'ers said, it is the nurses that do all of the ultrasounds and iuis. the only procedures he did on us were hydrosonograms, hsgs, and IVF. good luck!
ReplyDeleteWe had a female RE, but she was out of the office one day when we needed an IUI done. We were seen instead by the male doctor who was totally nice and gentle. I say go for it.
ReplyDeleteWe have seen two female REs. The first, meh. We didn't love her, but her male partners who happened to be on call to perform our IUIs were even worse. I found both of them to be horribly paternalistic and they, more than the original RE, were the reason we switched practices.
ReplyDeleteOur second female RE was amazing, but then we also liked male partner who performed one of our embryo transfers.
I don't think all male doctors are patriarchal penis people (an old term from college activist days popped back into my head), but I just think the chances are higher because of the way men are socialized. With the exception of my dentist (who who talks too much), all my doctors are female. I just feel more comfortable around women.
Ultimately, though, what matters is the individual, not the gender.