So, 2010: Good frikkin' riddance... you brought little good, and were probably one of the toughest years in recent history.
2011: Welcome, my friend. I already know you will bring good things. In fact, you already have.
D and I had an incredible New Years - actually, we had an incredible week. We are still having an incredible week. It is hard to explain how happy I am right now. I just feel as though everything is where it is suppose to be, exactly how it should be.
I have an amazing partner, who surprises me every single day with her love and kindness. Our relationship has flourished ten-fold, and we are nothing like we were. We have found a new way to love, a new way to live, with an old, familiar sense of knowing that we will always be okay.
We brought in the new year after a day of D working on the house (which looks amazing). She is really talented when it comes to DIY stuff - who knew?! She let me sleep... I am now on week two of coming off my anti-anxieties, and things are going extremely well. I have slept, and thanks to D's support these last few weeks, have had little problems. I dropped the dose again last night, and hope to be off almost a month earlier than I'd originally hoped. Anyway, I woke up to a beautifully tiled kitchen, a cup of coffee, and a kiss. Nothing better than that...
We did some errands, went for breakfast and went for a walk... the latter being kind of a big deal. I have not been able to walk for almost 4 years without pain, but yesterday, feeling good and almost-pain-free, I suggested a quick walk around a lake close to our home, and despite the temperature being in the minuses, we had a fabulous time. Came home, relaxed, talked about what we wanted this next year to look like, got some take-out and brought in the new year with a few glasses of champagne.
We woke up this morning with a new shared sense of faith. We are both so ready to move on from last year, and it just feels so good to shed it, shake it off, and start fresh.
As we were lying in bed this morning, D turned to me and said "You know the ban ends today." For a second, I didn't clue into what she was saying, and then I smiled: the baby-talk ban is over. 2011 is here, and we are now able to talk about babies. Never in a million years did I expect her to bring it to my attention though...
I smiled and replied, "I know."
And that's it.
Because today is about us. Today is a day where I can look around my home and know that I am happy with everything as it is. Today is exactly as it should be: I have a partner who I adore more than ever before. I have a home that, for now, I am happy to be in. I have two of the cutest kittens in the world, who also know that everything is wonderful. The sun is shining on the snow on the ground. The sky is blue and the fire is on. I am exactly where I should be.
So, today will be another day that we don't talk about babies. Today will be a day to focus on what we have right now. And I wouldn't have it any other way...
Today is an amazing day.
Happy New Years, everyone. May 2011 bring all the hope, joy, and love possible.